A PSA from the Hookers

From Jon of The Bearfoot Hookers:

Ok, if you got a previous email with a link and some shit that cut off rather abruptly, feel free to disregard that gibberish. I was trying something squirelly with the email and it didn't work out. Screw it. Technology is straight from hell anyway.

But, what I was saying had to do with the fact that (1.) we won that Flagpole Music Award we were after (2.) maybe we got a little arrogant about it, started slapping people around with the award (3.) realized it was made of plaster board shortly after we broke it while screaming "Do you know who the hell we are?!" at the poor bastard in Barberitos just trying to make our lunch and (4.) realized that fame and glory are fleeting and we're all just insignificant specks in the sands of infinity and the great magnitude of time immemorial. So we burned it in effigy, pissed on the fire and called it a day. ...

Which brings us right back where we started from. And that's in a bar playing music. Which, oddly enough, is what we'll be doing tonight (Friday) at Smith's Olde Bar in Atlanta (www.smithsoldebar.com). In case you haven't heard, we got some bands together and put out a CD of drinkin' songs from Athens and it's pretty damn good if I do say so myself. You can have a peek and buy it at www.hardlaborproductions.com. So Friday we're having the ATL CD Release Party at Smith's with several bands on the CD. Doors open at 8 p.m. and the show will feature such drunk derelicts as Brian Connell and The Dickens, Andrew Nelson and The Shotgun Lovers and Connor Rand and the Red Dirt Band. All guys that are very good at what they do. Should be a helluva good time and we'll go on around 11 with Connor closing the night out.

Also, if you're anywhere in the Macon vicinity, Ty's Legendary Guitar Pull at the Hummingbird Stage and Taproom (www.hummingbirdstageandtaproom.com) is chopping the balls off the bull so to speak and featuring Ladies in the Round, also known as "Testicles? We don't need no stinkin' testicles."

The night will feature some of the sweetest-sounding womerns in Georgia with Betsy Franck, Kimberly Morgan and Caroline Monroe the singer, not the porn star(s). Wendy Musick will also be on stage, bringing her husband Adam Musick (the duo behind rock Gods Southern Bitch). Adam is allowed only because he's married to Wendy, effectively rendering his balls as useless as tits on a turd.

Vic and Ty may do a couple and there may be a few special guests, but the general theme of the night is, "If the Queen had balls, she'd be King."

And that's enough mountain oyster talk. www.thebearfoothookers.com spreads the good word in the bottomless abyss of shit that is the internet and if you were offended with all the testicle jokes, tell me about it at thebearfoothookers@yahoo.com. Dimes to dollars it'll be a chick, too. C'mon out do something with your life. It's better than just waitin' around to die.

See ya at the bar,
Jon

(Hey, speaking of mountain oysters, I wonder if in some alternate universe, there's a group that's into animals entirely too much and there's a guy who heads that group up and he sends out lengthy, rambling emails about the goings on of the group, setting up critter soiree's and at the end of his emails he always signs it, "See ya at the barn," Just a thought.)

Posted by David Bill at June 30, 2006 10:17 AM